I have some things to tell you.
It’s a blend of the good and bad, but mostly the incredible fate that makes everything feel just as it should be. That being said, my move into San Francisco has proven to be the best past weeks of my life, writing lot (okay, not lately!) and staying out late most nights. But now I’m home, and it’s quiet here. Life again is calm and quiet.
But for the bad, could it be said that perhaps my recent breakup has proven good, in fact? I only amuse myself with this thought because I’ve felt like some of my recent works have greatly reflected my mood since it happened. And for the better. Really, the last thing I wrote about the situation was the following:
It’s come to to when you realize that you want to write more than the aches and held breaths and sentimental songs from LA. There are words I have not yet spoken, and in finding them they’ll prove that I am still me– that I am more than just me with you.
I’m getting by, and remarkably well. Perhaps it was all in the hands of fate, that the breakup should happen right as I find myself immersed in the delights of city living– because really, no better place to get you up on your feet and forward than roller discos, launch parties, neighborhood art walks, and Walk the Moon concerts that inadvertently lead to greater– and noteworthy relationship-relevant– music. I may not be writing much lately but I sure am not without my muses. It’s just finding those right words.
I’m back home this weekend for the third time in a row and I frankly dreaded being back in the bore of flat-land Diablo Valley. But the calm is doing just what I need, some peace of mind. The weekend is just to sit around and reevaluate perspectives. And how could it be so easy to do so with great, warm weather, a good book in your bag, and a newly discovered band you’re obsessed with?
These little things are doing just what I wrote to myself to do– to remember that despite everything that’s happening, it’s all for me, to show that I am still me without anyone else. And that I keep moving forward to see what else I am capable of.