February 8 – February 14


(looking up to the new light installments on the Bay Bridge after dinner at Epic Steakhouse)

The bridge is lit!

(sitting next to two skeevy-looking gentleman at the bar while I wait to meet my sister at The Corner Store

Hey man, what is the difference between an old bus stop, and a lobster with breasts?

– One is a crusty bus station. The other is a busty crustacean!

I also listened to two songs this week with their titles focused on “Recovery,” the first being a single by the Scottish tech group Chvrches (or “Ceviches” as my uncle claims is easier to remember), and a playful tune by Frank Turner. Both sing of getting back on track, getting back to the way things were with someone beside their side or as their reward for recovering. The Oxford Dictionary tells us that “recovery” is ‘The return to a normal state of mind, health, or strength.’

So if it means to go back to normal, does it always mean better?

Because maybe it’s a recovery I don’t want. Maybe this whole time in San Francisco is just a phase and just like that, it could all be gone and I’ll be back in suburbia and that’s one terrible finish if that’s where I’m meant to be. Yes, that’s what I dread. I live month to month subleasing such a lovely little place from my aunt, a place I usually have to myself and barely gets stocked with food because I’m always eating at work. A job I enjoy. People who I hang out with when 9-5 is done. Doing things together like sing-alongs at the Castro or $40 16 oz steaks on the waterfront in the rain. Doesn’t it all sound like a dream? All of this dreaminess will shatter sometime. Like dreams, I might actually wake up from this. We all might. There’s been talk about how the tech industry is ready to burst within a few years and with that so shall all we’ve been accustomed to.

The line in Frank Turner’s song is probably what’s getting me to overthink all of this:

’cause broken people
Can get better if they really want to
Or at least that’s what I have to tell myself if I’m hoping to survive

The faded hope in there is actually delightful. If they really want to. So if recovering is for the better, then this dream is something else. We’re not going to be the same. We’re going to be different, we’re going to keep growing.

And we’re going to forget those terrible jokes in the process.



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